Sunday, August 2, 2009

How to make friends in an unfamiliar party?

Couple of weeks back we were invited to the birthday party of my daughter's friend. Let me call him Alex. My wife has met Alex's mom at the Gymnastics class that my daughter goes to and they knew each other for a while. But, I am a newbie to Alex and his family. My wife prodded me for a while whether I want to attend the party. Clearly, I wouldn't know anyone in the party, unless the world has shrunk to the size of a peanut. To be honest, I am not an extrovert. At the same time, I am not an introvert either. So, I contemplated for a while and decided to take up the challenge to explore the uncharted world.

Last afternoon we were at the party. My strategy was to get to know someone through my daughter and socialize with them. She is adept at socializing and making new friends. I thought that she can be a gateway to meet her friends' parents. But, as soon as my daughter entered the party hall, she vanished among kids. My wife is new to the crowd as well, except the hosts. Well, you can imagine how busy the hosts would be in the party. So, can't expect them to take care of us all the time. With no backup plan or tactics on hand, I started fiddling with my blackberry for a while. Soon, I got bored with the old toy. Then I remembered the following quote from bible:
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you
shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you."
I started working out the room. I spotted couple of active (or extroverts) folks in the crowd and mingled with them. Unfortunately, they took up charge as official photo and videographer for the party and they had to do their duty. I was pushed to ground zero. I went fishing again, but all the attempts ended up with brief introductions only. Finally, I was able to converse with a person and able to socialize with him. In the end we even exchanged our phone numbers and planned to meet up some other time.

If you are like me, then here are some tips to break ice and make friends in an unfamiliar party:
  • Smile - If your kids' leave you sinking in an unfamiliar crowd, then smile will come as a rescuer. Even otherwise, keep smiling always - You never know who is falling in love with your smile. This will serve as a gateway for networking or socialization. Folks would almost always reciprocate and depending on that you could make a call whether that is the person whom you want to socialize.
  • Search - Search the room (or party hall) for extrovert folks. They are easy to mingle with. With them you don't have to work hard. They will carry the conversation. :-)
  • Topics - Here are some topics that you could ponder to begin and continue the conversation for a while. Remember! you are not interviewing someone. You need to "develop or build a conversation," but not make someone run away by asking too many questions.
  1. Name
  2. Home - Local and/or native
  3. Work
  4. Travel
  5. Family
  6. Hobbies/Interests
  • Read - One of my professor has recommended How to Work a Room by Susan RoAne on this topic. I began reading it, but haven't completed it yet. Perhaps, that could be helpful to prepare you. Also, read newspaper or be familiar with the current news. This would help to easily discuss about any topic.
Btw, I am not an expert at this; socializing is a soft skill and there is no strict formula. Hope you find these helpful to you as well. I am interested to know what worked for you and what didn't. Looking forward to hear from you.

1 comment:

Rachat de credit said...

Great details on how to make friends in an unfamiliar. Extremely detailed and pretty good advices. Kudos