Conquer your worry - Part 2

Preface

I intended to write the second part of "Conquer your worry" sequel couple of weeks back. However, I got busy with dinner appointments, trip planning and speech preparation. Finally, I wrote the draft version on the flight to Alaska. (Yup! watch out my Travel blog re: my trip to Alaska). Hope you had a chance to read the first part and able to triumph over at least few of your worries, if not all. If you need some tips on living in the present moment then get in touch with me. I can provide some information and help you in however way I can. Well, let's look at the basic techniques in analyzing worry.

Basic techniques in analyzing worry

In chapter 4, Dale Carnegie discusses the steps to analyze the problem(s). Problem analysis is critical, as at least 50% of the time we tend to make "immediate" decision to get rid of the problem without really understanding it. Here are the three steps:

1. Get the facts. As mentioned earlier, half the worry is caused by people trying to make decisions before thay have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. It's interesting that this simple step knocks of half of our worries.
2. Analyze the facts. Well, this step is obvious.
3. Arrive at the decision based on the facts and then act on that decision. Enough of theory; let's see couple of things we could put into practice.

In the next chapter, Mr. Carnegie provides us 4 questions to ask when we confront a worry. Here are those:

1. What am I worrying about?
2. What can I do about it?
3. Here is what I am going to do about it? (decision)
4. When am I going to start doing it? (act immediately)

You could create a template using the above questions with some space for answers or memorize these questions. Whenever you become aware of a worry, then answer these questions either on paper or in your mind. This exercise should yield more clarity about your worry and aid in making an appropriate decision.

In the last chapter of part 2, Mr. Carnegie recommends to do the following, similar to the one mentioned above, exercise when we worry about a problem. This too comprises of four questions.

1. What is the problem?
2. What is the cause of the problem?
3. What are the possible solutions?
4. What is the best solution?

Now, let me expand on the second question i.e., cause of the problem. Here, you could employ the "Five Whys" process. This process is heavily practiced in Toyota Organization and helps them in address the real cause of the problem and reduces reoccurence of poor quality products. Whenever we encounter a problem we should ask five "why" questions to find out the "root cause" of the problem. If we don't get to the root of the problem, we may address the problem at the superficial level, but in long run the real problem will pop up again. I read about the "Five Whys" process in my Operations course during the MBA program, but you could find more about it by googling.

I must admit that the above-mentioned exercises are similar. I believe, Mr. Carnegie's intention is to repeat it, so that it sticks to our mind. After all "repetition" is one of the techniques to remember things and improve our memory.

"In a day when you don’t come across any problems – you can be sure that you are traveling in a wrong path." – Swami Vivekananda

Conquer your worries - Part 1

Preface

It's two months, since I am done with my MBA and I haven't read even a single book. Although I borrowed couple of books from library, it only costed me a return trip as I didn't allocate time to read them :-(. I was really concerned about wasting time without reading books and sipping few droplets of the vast literature ocean. This week, I vowed to myself that I would at least read few chapters of Dale Carnegie's book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living." Now, that I have read few chapters (touch wood), I thought that the profound concepts in the book would be helpful to other souls as well. My current plan is to write only first few chapters of the book, as my intentions are to bring basic awareness to conquer worries and kindle interest to read the book. What I found really interesting was the alignment of concepts outlined in this book with the spirituality concepts that I heard/learned from my Guru, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. I'll compare both the concepts wherever applicable. The concepts as such as simple, but the challenge is to discipline ourselves to follow these concepts. Well, enough for preface, let me jump to first part of this sequel.

Fundamental facts you should know about worry (Part 1)

Dale Carnegie begins the book with a basic principle that would help us conquer our worries. Live in day tight compartments - he recommends us to shut the iron doors of past and future and just live the present day. My Guru and, I believe, all the enlightened people, also preach that to be happy one should always "live in present moment." Mr. Carnegie quotes numerous real stories to substantiate this principle. Sound simple? In fact it is not. If you notice young kids, they almost always live in the present moment. There is no concept of time at that age. However, when we grew older we have been conditioned about the past and future and we dwell most of our time in those. [Note: Neither I nor the author (& my Guru) advocate to stop planning for future. You should always have a vision/mission in your life.] If there is one take away that you would like from this blog, then that should be this basic principle: Be aware and live in present moment.

In the second chapter, Mr. Carnegie discusses the Magic formula that can help to overcome our worries. First, when you are worried about something ask this question: "What is the worst that can possibly happen?" Once you have an answer, then prepare to accept it, if you have to. Once you have accepted the worst, you will immediately feel better, relieved and relaxed. Now, calmly proceed to improve on the worst. That's the crux of this chapter. Again, Mr. Carnegie quotes numerous real life examples to illustrate this Magic formula.

The essence of the third chapter is "Those who don't know how to fight worry die young." Worry not only creates lot of mental stress, but also complex diseases such as high blood pressure, heart problems, stomach ulcers, etc. Though, this sounds silly, I could vouch for this as I am currently witnessing this personally. Perhaps, I would write about it some other time.

To recap, remember three things:

1. Live in present moment
2. Apply the Magic formula (What is the worst that could happen? accept it and act to improve it)
3. Those who don't know how to fight worry die young

Hope you find these concepts helpful and looking forward for to hear your experience about this topic from you.

Will write about the next part soon, until then "Be happy and make others happy." :-)